All Saints

Truth

2012-01-07T22:21:00.010Z

Jan 7th 2012

This evening I attended the Epiphany vigil Mass at a parish I hadn't visited before. It was a beautiful but modest church with a very nice altar and tabernacle. It was a family church and the Priest was like an aging spiritual warrior, watching and fussing over his flock whom he clearly loved dearly and deeply.

Something struck me during his homily. The Priest, talking about Epiphany, the gentile kings adoring Christ, said he saw the Catholic Church as those tiny arms of the Child Jesus, reaching out to Jew and pagan alike from the very beginning, and later as the strong arms of Christ on the Cross. The Holy Bride seeking to encompass all. And in this connection the old Priest suggested that in order to continue Mother Church's mission in the world, we should always seek to make our Faith relevant...

I wanted to jump up and say: But Father, the Truth (our Faith: the person of Jesus Christ) is always relevant, it can't be anything but relevant, in fact it is everything else which needs to be made relevant to the Truth! All that is needed from anyone is to speak and live the Truth and the Truth of our Faith is not a collection of ideas to put into action and conform to the world, but a person, Jesus Christ, to whom we must conform, and to whom we must seek to conform the world. This is the true meaning of the word Conversion, and ultimately, through our Holy Church's mission on earth, we are called to convert this world into a New Jerusalem, the City of God.

As Catholics, we neither need, nor should we seek to make our Faith relevant, for our Faith cannot change, we simply need to live and impart Truth who in fact IS the person of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Nothing else is needed, no more relevance is needed nor can in fact be achieved other than the living Truth itself, the person of Christ, the Truth that each of us also must live and in living that Truth there is realized all and absolute relevance.

To say that we should seek to make a thing relevant, implies change, malleability in the thing, and we simply cannot apply that to our Faith, because our Faith is Christ, who in turn is God and God is unchanging, pure Truth and simplicity. God desires that through his Son we all become relevant to Him, so that we can be saved, and we achieve this relevance through repentance and then Communion with Him. It is we who must change, who must seek to become relevant to God so we can be saved. Maybe this is what the old Warrior Priest meant after all.

The Warrior Priest, the aging Sentinel in the lonely outpost, gently holding his flock in both the tiny arms and the strong arms of Christ.

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Recession..

2012-01-04T20:45:00.004Z

Jan 4th 2012

Could the abomination of abortion be delaying the harvest being ripe and therefore allowing evil more time to operate in the world? From Revelation: "Thrust in thy sickle, and reap, because the hour is come to reap: for the harvest of the earth is ripe." Will the harvest be ripe at an appointed time, or more in keeping with the analogy of the reaper, when the harvest itself full? How long is the evil of abortion delaying this moment, the Day of Judgement when evil itself will finally perish. Could this 'delaying action'be the real true motive behind population control in all its forms including radical environmentalism..

This is why our Pro-Life Movement is of the UTMOST importance.

Abortion and birth control undermine the salvation economy. The longer evil has to operate, the more souls it can destroy, it's a simple calculation. Here is another proposal, could famine and abortion be seen as 'sacrifices'to evil? Demonic parodies of Christian fasting and suffering used against man in the ongoing spiritual war of Good vs evil.

Despair not however, fellow Catholic, the ultimate end is already written for we know who triumphs in this war. But you and I, dear Christian Solidiers, our individual fates in this war still have to be fought out, man by man, battle by battle, knowing the outcome boosts our morale in the face of the avalanche of evil in which we find ourselves, but it's up to each of us as individuals to survive the war as it still rages in our lives..

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Save the Liturgy, Save the World.

2011-12-04T01:00:00.004Z

Dec 3rd 2011

The state of the world is reflected in the state of the Church. This is a lie. The inverse of this statement is the truth: The state of the Church determines the state of the world. This makes the greatest sense of Our Lord's references to leaven. Take a good look at today's world. It's our fault. From the moment that Priests began to turn their back on Our Lord during Holy Mass, placing themselves as men, between their flock and the Lord on the Altar, the world followed suit. The spirit of the world is determined and formed by the Spirit of the Mass. Just as we are created in God's image, since the Crucifixion, the world is created anew every day in the Holy Bride's image. And where is the Holy Bride Herself created anew each day? At the source and summit of her Life, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. The repurcussions of our Mass ripple out through the world in a deterministic manner, partly in the behaviour and spiritual dimension of the celebrants, which in itself is determined by the degree of reverence and faith of the priest. We make the world in the image of the Church, an act of creation at every Mass. How can we save the world? Restore the Mass of Ages. Stand once again in proper reverence on that sacred hill. Show the proper reverence for His Agony and Suffering. The living unbloody Sacrifice which trumps time and space flows out into the world and restores it. But if our priests continue to turn their back on Our Lord and stand between Him and the flock during Mass, how can we expect the world not to do the same. Don't wonder anymore at the state of the world, only remember: The Kingdom of Heaven is within (the Church). If we get this right, the world will follow suit.

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The War of Life and Death

2010-05-16T18:57:00.003+01:00

May 13th 2010

All conflict in this world boils down to a single conflict.That between Life and death. There are only ever the same two forces opposing one another: those who seek Life for humanity, and those who seek death. Death is sought in so many ways in our world, through abortion, engineered famine, crime, euthanasia, glorified random violence, genocide (including that of Christians). And then there is the death impulse as it is played out in sexual gratification without conception, pornography, drug and alcohol abuse. Our culture has become a death culture. It's priorities are those of death, it seeks out death and annihilation of human beings as it's overriding purpose. It's as if an incomprehensible beast rode into our small Christian town and caught us all napping and now our young run around, wearing the colours of the beast. How did we let this happen? Why were so many ready to drop their Faith of milennia, and turn to the beast? And now our very Church, our very Holy Mother, the Bride of Christ itself is under attack, from all quarters, from within and without, from frivolous finger pointing to beheaded schoolgirls in the Middle East. The centre may not hold, but Christ will hold, and the gates of hell shall never previal. I for one, feel I must return to my Church and my Faith and not stand idly by while others try and sink Her. We are the light of the world and our World needs that light more than ever now. Humanity will not survive without it.

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Cherish the Word

2008-02-23T13:08:00.004Z

Kissing the Face of God - Morgan Weistling

February 23rd 2008

The world is on fire. It is a raging, deafening roar of flame. The noise is designed to drown out the Word of God. The noise of the world created by man and the prince of this world, can never contain the authentic Truth. Only lies from the master of lies. As well as deafening, the raging noise is here to destroy. When the noise becomes normal, you fail to hear it, though it becomes your consolation and this is the driving force behind many aspects of technology. This is its purpose. To deafen you to God's Word, and to encourage you away from it. The benefits of technology to mankind are peripheral, an allowed side effect, a deception far outweighed by the damage caused to the human soul. We have not yet cured cancer, or famine, AIDS or even Leprosy and TB, and yet we have in every home access to unrestrained licence, amorality, distraction in all its guises, and forms of entertainment which wholly trivialise, undermine and humiliate the human person. Seek silence, purity, freedom from distraction and fascination. Switch off your tv, your laptop, your stereo. The only truth, consolation, freedom and genuine science of reality is to be found in Prayer and Scripture, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, in abandonment to Divine Providence. Gently, and with your whole heart, close out the hideous roar from the world and its prince whose only fruits are lies and darkness.

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The Path

2007-10-07T10:40:00.000+01:00

Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary

October 7th 2007

I have found over the last year or so that Our Lord chastises those He loves. The chastisement serves to steer us back into communion and relationship with Him. When you are on the right 'path' and are following your destiny, so to speak, there are always signs which affirm you are taking the correct course of action. On the wrong path there is only silence and disaster and it is by this disaster that Our Lord gently steers us back to Himself. Prayer, especially before the Most Blessed Sacrament is essential to keeping us on the correct path. It is the gentle, beautiful guiding light, the invisible tether to God without which we cannot steer. We are made for prayer and adoration. Our whole being is designed by God to recieve the Word. To follow the path He has laid for us we need prayer, trust, obedience, simplicity and purity. To have nothing in your heart which prevents the flow of His grace. Then you begin to see, dimly at first, but eventually by a different light entirely and you realise that before there was only darkness.

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The Agony in the Garden

2007-09-21T20:56:00.001+01:00

Apologies for the long break in updates to All Saints. Due to work and domestic committments, I have had very little time to spend on the things that really matter. I am hoping that from now on I will be able to regularly update the blog. Thankyou for your support.

Palm Sunday

2007-04-01T10:44:00.001+01:00

Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday 2007

The Palm Sunday Mass at my local parish church was well attended today. In fact I had to kneel in the aisle at one point because of this. This is encouraging as often during the year the church is only half full, though it is not terribly attended as a rule. Small crosses made from palm leaves were handed out as we attended. One noteable thing was that we stood for the entire reading of the Passion of Our Lord, with responses for the congregation. This made the Mass seem more special (if that is possible), and I don't remember this from last year (when I was Catholic 'waiting to be' as it were, having been recieved into the Church at Easter Vigil 2006). I am looking forward to Easter Week this year, though I am slightly worried that, being the only Church goer in my household, I may have a job juggling domestic matters and my attendance at the Easter Triduum. I am determined to make each of the three special Masses this week; Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Vigil. Hopefully by God's good Grace I will attend all three Masses followed by Easter Sunday. I have also resolved to read through the Gospels this week, and the rest of the New Testament including the Letters and Acts etc. I did this last year (actually in the week following Holy Week as we were presented with copies of the New Testament as new memebers of the Church for Easter Vigil). I remember that last year, when I read through the New Testament from start to finish I found it extremely powerful. There is no way to explain the power and weight of these books, by any standards, without recourse to the Supernatural Grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

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Occlusion

2006-11-18T12:07:00.000Z

Adam and Eve

Written on the 1st Day of the 32nd Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

God's grace is the method by which we can be saved in our temporal life on earth. Sin occludes us from grace, like the Moon sometimes eclipses the Sun. And when we are cut off from the warmth and life giving radiance of grace we wilt and die. When you are in the depths of winter, you can barely imagine the heat and warmth and light of the sun. So you huddle before an artificial source of warmth, some object, another person, a created thing. It is only when the season changes, your world thaws and the glorious Sun rises again that you remember the joy of warmth and wonder how you ever lived without it. This is freedom. Freedom from sin. Sin and occlusion from grace forces you into the world, it forces you to look for gratification in created things, becoming the serpent that feeds on itself with a hunger that cannot be satisfied, swallowing its own tail. When you pray you begin to open the door to grace, or you start to pull back the curtain, bit by bit, until the light floods in and burns away the darkness. In avoiding sin you truly begin to see the world with new eyes. I remember thinking recently, that I hadn't seen something in a certain way since I was a child. A street with winter trees moving in the wind, a rusty iron railing. It just was what it was, truly beautiful, looking at it through the eyes of a child, God's miraculous world. Being free from sin is the truest temporal Freedom which Christ grants us in the world. The less we sin the more we acknowledge the sins of our past and wish to confess and become free of them also. God shows us all this in His endless Love and kindness, our lives in His grace foreshadowing what we must finally become.

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Communication

2006-11-18T12:06:00.000Z

Crucifix - Michelangelo

Posted on the 7th Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

The Crucifix as the symbol of our Faith is unlike any other religious symbol. In fact it is not a symbol but the demonstration of the core belief of our Faith. It is at once shocking and beautiful, like the Truth at the heart of the one true Faith. Naked humanity was lifted up from the earth and nailed to a Cross. The central and essential Sacrifice of our Catholic Faith. Hanging and suffering with humanity, Divinity, God Himself. No crescent moon, no six pointed star, or complex imagary charged with 'meaning' has this power of directness. No explanation necessary. Here is God in the form of Jesus Christ. Here is the Sacrifice that Redeems humanity. It is not a symbol but a snapshot. The moment of our salvation frozen in time so that we may never forget. It is also a unity. Man and God and Cross. Taking any of these elements away takes away that redeeming moment. It shows us all our final end. That all of us in the end will be removed from the earth and nailed to the Cross of our suffering until we die.

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Latin Extraction

2006-11-13T21:30:00.000Z

A Mass being offered for the souls in purgatory

Posted on the 6th Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

P: Lavabo inter innocentes I will wash my hands among
manus meas: et circumdabo the innocent, and will
altare tuum Domine. Ut audiam compass Thine altar, O Lord.
vocem laudis: et enarrem That I may hear the voice of
universa mirabilia tua. praise, and tell of all Thy
Domine dilexi decorem domus wondrous works. I have loved,
tuae, et locum habitationis O Lord, the beauty of Thy
gloriae tuae. Ne perdas cum house, and the place where
impiis Deus animam meam: et Thy glory dwelleth. Take not
cum viris sanguinum vitam away my soul, O God, with
meam. In quorum manibus the wicked; nor my life with
iniquitates sunt: dextera men of blood. In whose hands
eorum repleta est muneribus. are iniquities: their right
Ego autem in innocentia mea hand is filled with gifts.
ingressus sum: redime me, et But as for me, I have walked
miserere mei. Pes meus stetit in my innocence; redeem me,
in directo: in ecclesiis and have mercy on me. My foot
benedicam te Domine. Gloria, hath stood in the right way;

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son,
and to the Holy Ghost. As it
was in the beginning, is now,
and ever shall be; world
without end. Amen.

Suscipe sancta Trinitas P: Recieve, O holy Trinity,
hanc oblationem, quam tibi this oblation offered up by us
offerimus ob memoriam to Thee in memory of the
passionis resurrectionis et passion, resurrection, and
ascensionis Jesu Christi ascension of Our Lord Jesus
Domini nostri: et in honorem Christ, and in honor of
beatae Mariae semper virginis, blessed Mary, ever a virgin,
et beati Joannis Baptistae, of blessed John the Baptist,
et sanctorum Apostolorum Petri of the holy apostles Peter and
et Pauli, et istorum, et Paul, of these, and of all
omnium Sanctorum: ut illis the saints, that it may be
proficiat ad honorem, nobis available to their honor and
autem ad salutem: et illi pro to our salvation; and may
nobis intercedere dignentur in they whose memory we celebrate
coelis, quorum memoriam on earth vouchsafe to
agimus in terris. Per eumdem intercede for us in heaven.
Christum Dominum nostrum. Through the same Christ our
Amen. Lord. Amen.

THE ORATE FRATRES
Orate, fratres, ut meum P: Brethren, pray that my
ac vestrum sacrificium sacrifice and yours may be
acceptabile fiat apud Deum well pleasing to God the
Patrem omnipotentem. Father almighty.
Suscipiat Dominus S: May the Lord receive this
sacrificium de manibus tuis ad sacrifice at thy hands, to
laudem et gloriam nominis sui, the praise and glory of His
ad utilitatem quoque nostram, name, to our own benefit, and
totiusque Ecclesiae suae to that of all His Holy
sanctae. Church.

THE SECRET PRAYER

Per omnia saecula P: World without end.
saeculorum.
Amen. S: Amen.
Dominus vobiscum. P: The Lord be with you.
S: Et cum spiritu tuo. S: And with thy spirit.
P: Sursum corda. P: Lift up your hearts.
S: Habemus ad Dominum. S: We have them lifted up unto
P: Gratias agamus Domino Deo the Lord.
nostro. P: Let us give thanks to the
S: Dignum et justum est. Lord our God.
S: It is meet and just.

P: Vere dignum et justum est, P: It is truly meet and just,
aequum et salutare, nos tibi right and profitable, for us,
semper, et ubique gratias at all times, and in all
agere: Domine sancte, Pater places, to give thanks to
omnipotens, aeterne Deus. Thee, O Lord, the holy One,
Qui cum unigenito Filio tuo, the Father almighty, the
et Spiritu Sancto, unus es everlasting God: Who,
Deus, unus es Dominus: non together with Thine
in unius singularitate only-begotten Son and the Holy
personae, sed in unius Ghost, art one God, one
Trinitate substantiae. Quod Lord, not in the singleness of
enim de tua gloria, revelante one Person, but in the
te, credimus, hoc de Filio Trinity of one substance. For
tuo, hoc de Spritu sancto, that which, according to Thy
sine differentia discretionis revelation, we believe of Thy
sentimus. Ut in confessione glory, the same we believe of
verae, sempiternaeque Thy Son, the same of the Holy
Deitatis, et in personis Ghost, without difference or
proprietas, et in essentia distinction; so that in the
unitas, et in majestate confession of one true and
adoretur aequalitas. Quam eternal Godhead we adore
laudant Angeli, atque distinctness in persons,
Archangeli, Cherubim quoque oneness in essence, and
ac Seraphim: qui non cessant equality in majesty: Which
clamare quotidie, una voce the angels praise, and the
dicentes: archangels, the cherubim also
and the seraphim, who cease
not, day by day crying out
with one voice to repeat:

THE SANCTUS
Sanctus, Sanctus, P: Holy, holy, holy, Lord
Sanctus, Dominus Deus God of hosts. The heavens and
Sabaoth. Pleni sunt coeli et the earth are full of Thy
terra gloria tua. Hosanna in glory. Hosanna in the highest.
excelsis. Benedictus qui Blessed is He Who cometh in
venit in nomine Domini. the name of the Lord. Hosanna
Hosanna in excelsis. in the highest

========================================

P: Corpus Domini nostri Jesu P: May the Body of Our Lord
Christi custodiat animam meam Jesus Christ keep my soul unto
in vitam aeternam. Amen. life everlasting. Amen.

P: Quid retribuam Domino pro P: What shall I render unto
omnibus quae retribuit mihi? the Lord for all the things
Calicem salutaris accipiam, that He hath rendered unto me?
et nomen Domini invocabo I will take the chalice of
Dominum, et ab inimicis meis salvation and will call upon
salvus ero. the name of the Lord. With
high praises will I call upon
the Lord, and I shall be
saved from all mine enemies.

P: Sanguis Domini nostri Jesu P: May the Blood of Our Lord
Christi custodiat animam meam Jesus Christ keep my soul unto
in vitam aeternam. Amen. life everlasting. Amen.

P: Ecce Agnus Dei, ecce Qui P: Behold the Lamb of God,
tollit peccata mundi. behold Him who taketh away the
sins of the world.

P: Domine, non sum dignus, P: Lord, I am not worthy
ut intres sub tectum meum: that Thou shouldst enter under
sed tantum dic verbo, et my roof; but only say the
sanabitur anima mea. (Three word, and my soul shall be
times) healed. (three times)

COMMUNION OF THE FAITHFUL

P: Corpus Domini nostri Jesu P: May the Body of Our Lord
Christi custodiat animam tuam Jesus Christ keep your soul
in vitam aeternam. Amen. unto life everlasting. Amen.

P: Quod ore sumpsimus Domine, P: Into a pure heart, O
pura mente capiamus: et de Lord, may we receive the
munere temporali fiat nobis heavenly food which has passed
remedium sempiternum. our lips; bestowed upon us in
time, may it be the healing
of our souls for eternity.

P: Corpus tuum, Domine, P: May Thy Body, O Lord,
quod sumpsi, et Sanguis, which I have received, and
quem potavi, adhaereat Thy Blood which I have drunk
visceribus meis: et praesta, cleave to mine inmost parts:
ut in me non remaneat scelerum and do Thou grant that no
macula, quem pura et sancta stain of sin remain in me,
refecerunt sacramenta. Qui whom pure and holy mysteries
vivis et regnas in saecula have refreshed: Who livest and
saeculorum. Amen. reignest world without end.

Amen.

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Certainty

2006-11-11T22:00:00.000Z

Immaculate Heart of Mary

Posted on the 5th Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

I am beyond any doubt, certain of the truths of our Faith. I cannot explain where this certainty comes from, and I have never felt such certainty over anything really before, including much of what is before my own eyes here on earth. This kind of certainty is called Faith I think. It is a powerful and beautiful gift. I know that it comes from outside of me, via Gods grace, because no thought process, or logical reasoning has lead me to this certainty. I Believe. A strange thing happened about mid way through my conversion, during the time I had decided to enter into full communion with the Catholic Church, and emabarked on the RCIA programme, before I was formally recieved into the church at Easter Vigil 2006. I awoke, in the early hours of a winter morning, saying over and over to myself, 'I Believe. I have Faith. I have no doubt at all. This is the Truth!' It was a strange and powerful and beautiful thing. It was the very moment, I guess, that I became Catholic. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I am not in the habit of waking up in the small hours with 'eureka' moments. I don't even have dreams I can remember. This was strong and powerful, unequivocal and supernatural. God gave me Faith that morning. The Faith that both literally and figuratively, woke me from my sleep.

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Mystery

2006-11-11T21:34:00.000Z

Christ with the Doubting Thomas - Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

Posted on the 4th Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

I was a late convert to Catholicism. Ironically though, I feel I have been a Catholic all of my life, in everything but name. The Catholic Church has called to me for as long as I can remember. In subtle ways She has always been there, gently insisting, through all of my doubting, my not knowing, my mistaken beliefs and non beliefs, She was there, our Blessed Mother, calling for the wayward sheep, calling me back home, into the fold where the Good Shepherd awaits. When I look back on my doubt, it seems shallow and thin. A hollow thing. I was interested in what science had to say about the universe, and still am to some extent. There is a lot of breadth to lose oneself in in science, in the minutae of astronomy for example, the intricate theories and structures of the quantumn world. In as sense it was doubt which brought me to Faith. Doubt that I could really ever know anything for sure. This seems to laughable to me now, knowing what I now know. The certainties that are more real than real to me now because of my Faith. Science was the closest thing to my religion back then. What this mode of thought leaves you with is a searching mind and a desire for truth. Primed for revelation. The more uncertainties there are, the greater the desire for certainty becomes. And she was there, Our Lady, insisting that I look. And when it happened, when the conversion came, it was like someone reaching out, grabbing hold of me. Another person, not an idea or theory, or belief. Converting wasn't something I 'did', it was 'done' to me. A real tangible person came into my life, throwing me the lifeline of the seed of Faith. And that seed of Faith set fire to my soul and my life changed forever. You cannot arrive here through reason, thought, human effort. It is an inexplicable mystery and because of our nature as created things, a mystery it must always remain. Revel in the Mystery. In the Real Presence of Our Lord on earth, in the tangible presence of the Blessed Virgin Mary in your life.

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Heresy

2006-11-10T00:45:00.000Z

Pieter Bruegel the Elder. The Tower of Babel. 1563. Oil on panel. Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna, Austria

Posted on the 3rd Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Because we have a little bit of technology, we think we know something. We think we now are able and entitled to question, even the absolutes of our created universe. This questioning is ultimatley futile, as any good scientist will tell you. But what we have, reminds me a lot of the magician behind the curtain in the film: 'The Wizard of Oz'. He was just a little guy with his ridiculous levers and dials and pushbuttons. And his fraud was pretty much transparent in the end. We are this little man, with our own ridiculous dials and pushbuttons, our unnecessary and useless addons to life which, in its own right, is transcendent and sacred in its beauty. The noise and smoke and mirrors show we put on until we lose awareness of the world and live in a stupid, hollow, empty idea of it. The culture of death: efficiently depriving even life itself of Life. How we have lost the ability to think. How an anarchic challenging of the fullness of truth has become a replacement for thought. Our technology now does our thinking for us and all we have left is our need to kick against what we feel constrains us. Like an infant pushing against the reins that save its life. Like spoilt, immature young adults who sincerely believe they know better than their elders. There is nothing to change or develop or adapt. We are the same sinners we were over 2000 years ago and need the same Divine Gift to save our fallen nature. Christ came, His Holy Sacrifice on the Cross changed our living breathing world for all eternity. We are asleep in a drowsy idle dream in darkness. We must awake into the New Day or die forever in darkness.

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Faith

2006-11-10T00:04:00.000Z

Roman Catholic Angel Statue

Posted on the 2nd Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Faith. It is a much misused word. It is often used in general terms, sometimes in place of the word 'religion' or 'belief'. Faith is more an activity than a thought process. It is the active, living bridge between the natural world in which we live, and God's supernatural Kingdom. It is the mechanism we have been given to bridge the gap. Where our finite sphere of reason and activity reaches its limit, there Faith carries us across the void. Faith is implanted in us by Christ, the seed within, given to us all as a free gift by virtue of His Sacrifice. Prayer, Scripture and especially Holy Communion activate this Faith within us, allow us to see with new eyes, hear with clarity the sublime truth of the living Word. Faith is a word of true beauty, the beauty of the supernatural world it joins us to, grafts us onto, as we remain weak humans lifted up and given new nature by Our Lord Jesus Christ. Faith at once binds us, and sets us truly free.

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Communion

2006-11-06T22:03:00.000Z

Jesus with Mary & Martha window - St. Anthony of Padua Catholic Church - Atlanta

Posted on the 1st Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Sunday Holy Communion. The church was fairly full and quite noisy. Someone coughing badly, lots of people with colds. But there was a great silence today when the Priest consecrated the Host and His Precious Blood. It was very quiet, for a long time, the atmosphere seemed charged and electric in our ordinary little church. Then I heard a baby chuckle in the midst of the silence. It was a real happy, delighted sound. Like a clear bell. The kind of sound that just makes you smile. A golden sound. For some reason I had a mental image of Our Lord and His Blessed Mother present in the church. Walking gracefully, invisibly, past the rough wooden pews and hunched, kneeling people, the baby catching sight of them, chuckling delightedly as they pass.

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Grace

2006-11-05T11:28:00.000Z

BlessedVirgin Mary statue - Presentation of Mary Academy

Posted on the 7th Day of the 30th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Today, it's the 4th of November. Tomorrow, here in the UK we celebrate Guy Fawkes night. Guy Fawkes, by the way, was a Roman Catholic, but that's another story. Bonfire Night actually celebrates his grisly demise at the hands of the British Government. I still take my daughter to see the fireworks though, because she loves them, but secretly I'm rooting for Guy Fawkes, the guy in the bonfire, as it were. So I'm standing here in a freezing cold field. Public Guy Fawkes celebrations are always on the Saturday, even when Nov 5th falls on an alternate day. In a freezing cold field with my daughter who is wearing a wooly hat. Cursing myself again (I do this every year) for thinking it is warmer than it is, forgetting that I will be standing there for almost an hour and it will both get and feel colder as time goes on. We queue for hotdogs and soup.

The old ladies manning the soup tent, they are here every year, giving up their own time to do this. For some reason I half watch them as we are standing in the queue. Grey, dowdily dressed, invisible. But tonight they are not invisible and for some reason I am fixated by them, their almost invisibility. The harsh lights from the soup tent fall on them, one goes off and back on and one of them says "Let there be light!" or something similar. They all chuckle and carry on serving the customers, most of whom look through them, as if they are transparent. The closer I get, the more I watch, spellbound, as if I am seeing into some kind of hidden, secret place. Seeing people no one else can see. They are old, frail, but immediate and vital. Grace fills every movement as if the hand of Our Lady was resting on each of them as they stood there or moved around in the soup tent, in the cold, in the chatter of the queue, the harsh arc lights, the noise of a petrol driven generator, smells of soup and hotdogs. What makes them invisible also gives them humiliy, they have nothing to prove, they are just there, working in the soup tent, doing what they are doing, nothing more, nothing less. Harsh golden light falls across their faces and I am forced to think of Angels, the old ladies as Angels and Angels all around them. Hidden, unseen, invisible.

We pay for our hotdog and soup and wander off to the bonfire. At least good old Guy is warm. As usual, the fireworks are on the way to becoming spectacular without really making it. My daughter has forgotten her scarf, so she pulls my arm around her neck and cuddles it to keep warm. The sky is alive with fireflies, sparks and bright trails of different colours. Smoke and fire rises to the sky as Grace pours down upon us in all our God filled days.

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Humility

2006-11-04T01:04:00.000Z

Mary Weclomes Souls into Heaven

Posted on the 6th Day of the 30th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

At Mass and in the presence of the Most Blessed Sacrament, we are guests. We don't really belong there in the sense that we are not, usually, worthy to be in the presence of Holiness. We are the guests to the wedding feast, the ones whom the servants were told to bring from the street corners, the beggars, the unclean. God welcomes us, broken humanity, and we must have the knowledge of ourselves as we really are in His eyes, when we are in his presence. Because we don't really belong there, in and of ourselves and our own efforts alone. Despite this, God becomes a Victim for us, He places Himself Last of all in the wedding feast of His Sacrifice. In humility we must recognise the greatness of this free and eternal Gift. God's infinite Humility in His giving Himself away to us like this, must be a template for our own humility.

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Divide

2006-11-03T22:05:00.000Z

Crusader Shield

Posted on the 5th Day of the 30th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

In a very real way, the truth is a shield. But it is also a sword. The thing about the truth is, is that it can't be altered, it is not relative, cannot be changed. You place that seed of truth in your soul, everything else changes, but not the Truth. Where there was once reconciliation and compromise, relativism, now there is division, conflict, it is how we develop in our spiritual life. But in our world we have an obsession with reconciliation, unity, compromise, commonality. Brotherhood based on truth is true brotherhood, therefore brotherhood in Christ is true brotherhood. Anything else is just sympathy, empathy, loose understanding upon which no real action can be based. Christ altered history, reality and truth itself, through His Holy Sacrifice on the Cross. There is no compromise in that. It changed everything, forever. An Eternal Sacrifice. Therefore, instead of looking for commonality and relationship, we should instead seek to spread truth. Christ called us to be a light to the world. The light of Truth. The only, unchanging, non negotiable Truth. Therefore the truth divides us. Sheep from goats. Like a warrior it conquers us. In battle the truth takes away the ground from under us, divides us from ourselves and from our sin. We cannot truly reconcile. All things coming together means we are joined again to sin and evil because sin and evil are in the world. Truth seperates us from this. The move towards 'oneness' is a feature of the culture of death. It is the battle against truth where all things are mixed and rendered relative to all other things. We must seek the Holy Truth that divides us because that truth is the light and like the light it is divided from darkness. The Truth is not grey twilight but the unbearable brightness of the star of Heaven, in which there is no place for darkness. When the Word enters the soul, all things follow from it. When the Word enters the soul, there is winnowing and seperation:

"I have come to cast fire upon the earth; and how I wish it were already kindled!" ... "Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division.."

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All Saints Day 2006

2006-11-01T23:15:00.000Z

All Saints

Posted on the 4th Day of the 30th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

1st November 2006. It's one of the few Holy Days of Obligation still remaining (apart from Sunday of course). I am called into a late meeting at work. As the minutes tick away and the meeting drags on, I watch the clock. It ends in time for me to reach the All Saints Mass, but without a comfortable margin. I drive like an insane person the 20 miles or so to my parish church. 'This can't be right!' I keep thinking. I am driving dangerously to fulfill my Holy Obligation. It's a dilemma, but I really don't want to miss the Holy Mass. I get to few enough as it is. Tonight, I tell myself, God trumps the speed limit. It's like my life is to small for everything packed into it.

Lunchtime was the same, another meeting, running over, I dash to the Adoration Chapel near work in time to recite the Divine Mercy Chaplet, dash back to work again.

This is how my day felt. But the reality was actually different. Looking at the clock, knowing rush hour traffic. I knew I had to make haste, to say the least, to get to Mass, or to the Adoration Chapel in time. All my experience told me: 'Your late, the meeting ran over, you need to really push it to get to where you need to go in time!' So off I ran, recklessly, dangerously.

However, at lunchtime, after my hasty Divine Mercy Chaplet and dash back to work, I found I was back at work much earlier than usual. Somehow there had been no need to rush. In the evening, I arrived, bedraggled, at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass on the Solemnity of the Feast of All Saints. I sat and waited in the cold church for a good ten minutes before the Mass began. My fear had been: pews full, no hymn books, Mass already starting as I walk in. The reality was the exact opposite.

Ironically for an All Saints day homily, Father was quite scathing about what he described as the 'top' Saints. I winced as he began to snipe at them, in general terms, as if they were filmstars or politicians and wondered what they could ever have possibly done to offend him. I learned to forgive Father some time ago, his eccentric mix of liberalism and traditionalism. His homilies often seemingly hostile, his liturgy, by contrast, always by the book, no adlibs, nothing missing nothing added. Now I just look into the middle distance or at the candles flickering around Our Lady, or at her smile as she holds the Infant Jesus toward me in her arms, outstretched, welcoming. Usually something good jumps out of each of Father's homilies anyway. Saint Faustina said this once about a confessor she had difficulty with, that he would, in the end, say the thing that she needed to hear, as if God was speaking through him. The day itself had been a homily for me. It showed me that all my rushing here and there was in vain and made no real difference to anything. The superhuman (ie: all too human) over effort I extend which gets me nowhere, without the grace of God. His grace, His Life, is all that makes anything good possible.

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Courtship

2006-11-01T22:22:00.000Z

Immaculate Heart of Mary

Posted on the 3rd Day of the 30th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Unfortunately I was a late convert to the Church. This has meant that, although my daughters have spent their entire education in the Catholic School system, they are ambivalent toward the Faith at best. I am trying to change this. They are too old now for me to simply dictate what they believe. Sometimes I lose ground, other times I gain it. But I pray that the seeds of truth in their hearts will grow and bear fruit.

I try not to despair of their future in this secular, materialist world. What gives me confidence is that I know God chases us. Our whole lives are the roller coaster affair of a courtship. When you suddenly come into the Faith and convert, as I did, you see this for what it is. Ever since I was a child, He was there, running after me, present in all of the things of this world as all things proclaim Him. You cannot avoid it, you can only live as if in a dream, denying this truth, believing in the laughable, empty vanity which is our shallow, material culture. Where for the blink of an eye, because we have the pitiful crutch of technology, we see ourselves as gods.

In the clamour, the noise, the distraction, He is there. Like a persistent joyful child, running after us, tugging at our garments, always saying: 'Look at me, LOOK!"

I know He will chase my daughters too. He will run after them in desperate love and all they have to do, one day, is say 'Yes, enter my heart'. Because He will never give up. He will send situation after situation, person after person, insistence after insistence, sign after sign. This is what life is. It is the sum total of the signs, the insistence, the heavenly courtship.

A beautiful child running madly toward you through the crowd, eyes fixed on you and you alone, face radiant, beaming with love and excitement, because it's you. She throws herself into your arms as only a child can, knocking you to the ground, turning your life upside down forever.

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Holy Bride

2006-11-01T21:39:00.000Z

St Agnes

Posted on the 2nd Day of the 30th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Holy Mother Church is Christ's Bride here on earth. She is the pure, virginal beautiful bride, veiled, spotless, dressed in the whiteness of purity. Upon her can be found no blemish, no fault. Her arms open wide to welcome us, shameful in our sin. In her bosom we rest, She knows no blemish except for ours. Holy Mother Church, Bride of Our Lord Jesus Christ. In her arms she cradles the Lamb.

In our imperfections, we gather around the Bride. The gentle virgin who cradles the Lamb in her arms. We love her dearly. She watches us compassionatley us as we stumble in our sin. Her arms open wide, always welcoming. In the emptiness of desolate urban churches she can be found, smiling, weeping, waiting. In the desert of souls in the heart of a city. In the silent moments when we forget who we are pretending to be. Always waiting, spotless, without the stain of sin.

At Holy Mass she reaches out gently to us, beckons to show us the way. Chasing us in our emptiness like a giddy child. There always, the silent virginal bride. The whiteness of her purity where I lay my head, on the softness of her bosom, beside the Lamb.

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Beauty

2006-10-29T17:54:00.000Z

Mother Theresa

Posted on the 1st Day of the 30th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

I had a strange experience today. I took my daughter shopping, at the mall. It's an ordinary Sunday. She wanted to change into something she had just bought, so she went to the rest room to change. I waited outside with the rest of the dad's, husbands, friends, mothers etc. The mall is crowded because it's getting close to the Christmas Season and it is the end of half term, all the kids are back at school tomorrow, there are lots of families, hurridly buying last minute stuff for school, or walking casually along with arms full of early Christmas shopping. There's an endless stream of coming and going, into and out of the restrooms, and also between me and the restrooms, like a river of humanity, milling along, winding its way, some getting snagged by the restrooms and the shops nearby, others carrying on to somewhere out of sight. I kind of watch people without watching them. I am aware of them drifting by but not really taking much notice. Until I realise, with a kind of shock, that, since I've been standing there, I haven't seen a single person who is not beautiful. And, no this is not Hollywood or some such place, far from it. And I am not saying something like: 'everyone is beautiful in their own way' or anything like that. No. Every person who passed me, hundreds, possibly thousands of them, were each and every one of them, beautiful. No exceptions, period. Somehow, God was showing me something, or, in my half drowsy attention, I was seeing without some kind of preconception I must usually apply to people whom I look at. Now this didn't stop as I became aware of it, as these kind of things often do. Your preconcieved notions flooding back, filtering your perception. It carried on, the whole time I stood there waiting as my daughter put on her new clothes, straightened herself in the mirror etc. Every single face, male, female, young old. Beautiful in a very real and immediate way. I realised then that people who appear unattractive to me are those who consciously try to mould themselves in some way, project an image, do something complicated with their appearance or expression, or just look preoccupied with something that is bothering them, implying some underlying conflict with their natural state. I could pick out these people, though there were relatively few of them. But they still looked beautiful. It was as if I could see the beauty, but with the complicated and unnecessary mask on top. The beauty is always there. I understood then that God does not create anything ugly or without beauty. Everything, every single individual person has intrinsic natural beauty given by God, in a very real way. I don't mean this in the sense of a platitude or throw away comment, it was a striking experience. By default you have that real tangible beauty which Gods Grace has granted you. It is only when we get into a situation where we are at odds with ourselves, where we think we can mold ourselves, by our own efforts, into something 'clever' or 'interesting' or 'challenging' which conflicts with the template of our self which God has given us. Where in effect we begin to come into conflict with God's intention or design for us that we put on that ugly and totally unnecessary outward mask.

My daughter emerges from the restroom through the sea of faces, wearing her new skirt. Beauty coming towards me through a sea of beauty, beauty parting for beauty. Heaven on earth here and now on this ordinary Sunday in October.

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Trust

2006-10-28T22:49:00.000+01:00

Jesus and Saint Peter

Posted on the 7th Day of the 29th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

I worry about my kids. A lot. I worry about work and the future and money. About my parents. A lot of what I do is because I worry. Hopefully those things that I do are positive. So worry can't be such a bad thing. There is a modern obsession with not worrying, like we have an obsession with being 'stress free'. Worry and stress, in proportion, means our conscience is more or less in working order. That we care. We have a job to do here on earth and every little detail of our lives matters. In the end it is for building up God's Kingdom. And that means building up our neighbour and ourself, our families, the domestic church.

But sometimes I think too much. It's triggered by the worry, a habit of thought, looking for solutions, for ways of looking at things that rationalise them, or rationalise or sweeten our responses to them. I am trying to learn though, slowly but surely, that the answers are in some way inside of us already. Christ entered into our nature at the Event of the Crucifixion, he gave us everything we need to live our lives and in a sense, we have to stop trying to grab the reins of our life from Him. He gently, invisibly, silently, guides us on the right path. The path that was made for us and which leads us home. It is not always the easy path. It is the Great Gift that in our hearts has been placed the key to the guidance we need. Prayer and the Eucharist untethers us from our stubborn will, gently handing over the reins to Our Lord and God who is merciful.

We can achieve nothing without this. And with this 'handing over' comes not less responsibility but more. It is still our lot to walk on the path we are guided onto. Our world is a world of signs and meaning unique for each of us. We need to be on the right path to see the signs and meaning intended for us alone.

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Near

2006-10-28T17:18:00.000+01:00

The Blessed Virgin Mary

Posted on the 6th Day of the 29th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

When my daughters were small, I used to play hide and seek with them. Invariably they would hide somewhere in plain view, as it were. They would try to hide under bed sheets, but with their legs sticking out. Or behind a door, but with a hand holding the door shut. Or simply sit there with hands over their eyes, thinking that because they couldn't see me, then I must not be able to see them. And of course, being the type of dad who didn't want to spoil their fun too quickly, I would pretend not to see them. Would stomp around for a while to build the anticipation and excitement before eventually 'discovering' them in their 'hiding' places. Good fun. For them and me!

I am still very much like my daughters were at that age, but I'm getting better I hope. I think many people are. It is as if, just because we aren't getting hit between the eyes, every minute of every day, by religious experience, then somehow, God isn't watching us. Or we acknowledge that God 'sees all, knows all' but feel that it must be a bit like looking at the world from space. You can 'see all' but can't really make out the details. Or really that there is so much going on in the world that God can't possibly be focussed specifically on us, all of the time. Can He?

Well, the answer to that question is an emphatic 'Yes'. I find a useful way to look at it is like this: God created me, alone, for Himself. It's just that He created everyone else, alone, for Himself also. We have to see that God does not have human limitations. He can and does focus continuous, unbroken, intimate, detailed attention of every one of us, at all times, without cease, as if we were the only one in existence. This fact should inform our behaviour, but often it doesn't.

I heard two things, from unrelated sources, today which emphasize this aspect of our Faith. One was: "God is nearer to you than you are to yourself." The other was that one of Loyola's Spiritual Exercises involved, visualising our Lord as being with you at all times. For example: sitting next to you when you drive to work, walk down the street, talk to your kids etc.

God indeed knows us better and is closer to us than we are to ourselves. This should be a powerful source of humility for us, informing all of our actions and thoughts.

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Singularity

2006-10-26T14:23:00.000+01:00

The Crucifixion

Posted on the 5th Day of the 29th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

When I look at the scale of Christianity and the Catholic Church in the world , in the knowledge that, unlike other faiths which depend on worldly political and military power, and are in fact fronts and legitimisers for that power, a way of organising it for worldly ends, I realise that the only explanation of the success of Christianity that works is, in fact, the supernatural one. Holy Mother Church is Christ's Bride here on earth, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it, period. It is as if, on the day of the Crucifixion, a spiritual big bang occurred and humanity, reality in fact, was changed, irreversibly, forever. We put on a new nature. Whatever feelings we may have about our ‘modern’ world, the state of the Church and Catholicism in general, we are still reeling in the tornado effect of that one Event. Christs Sacrifice. The wellspring of grace which was released, like the energy of the big bang, will play out until His Second Coming, and we must choose, freely, to cooperate with that grace, there is no excuse, nothing can stop it. Modernism and secular society, although filling the minds and hearts of man, are dust and ashes that will be forgotten. We each of us have the ultimate free choice, to choose that abundant grace which totally permeates our world, a free gift and gateway to Heaven, or to take the line of least resistance and refuse to raise ourselves above the animal. It is there for the taking, the great defining moment of human history, of the history of the universe, of all reality, ensured that. God came to us, He put on our human joy and misery, and thrust Himself into our hearts by his Sacrifice on Calvary in an act which in some way completes, or brings closer to completion, His original act of Creation.

There is no escape from it, there is no need to reason or argue. Christ through his death and Resurrection entered into the material of mans soul and has changed all of us for all eternity. We are now, by definition, creatures who must cooperate with grace, the Crucifixion defines the world. Everything we are and do is soley in the perspective of its light.

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Subtefuge

2006-10-25T18:25:00.000+01:00

Christ appearing to Saint Anthony Abbot during his Temptation

Posted on the 4th Day of the 29th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Temptation needs only a chink in the armour, as St Paul said. Sin requires only the slightest gap in our defences and in it will rush. It's as if if has no real mass, if a tiny bit of it is in, it's all in. Such is the power of sin that binds us to the world. The other thing about it is that it is chameleon like. Very often, in sin, we are not really aware of the sin itself, or we look at it and it turns into something else, like a chameleon moving over a varying surface, you have to constantly re focus to keep it in sight. Good things can turn into sinful things, or, rather, on the continuum between good and bad, our actions can, very easily, slip into the bad where the original intention was good and noble. Such is the nature of sin and the ruin of souls. Good people who just stop looking, maybe have a proclivity to pride, stop examining their conscience, or look at it, as like so many things in this world, through a glass darkly. Advice here: always return to Our Lord, in prayer, and to sacred Scripture, our Blessed Mother, the Holy Spirit. If in doubt, pray. In fact, always pray. Pray the Rosary daily.

Recently I have read some extremely well presented, very cogently argued, very enlightening and educating material regarding a variety of issues affecting the Catholic Church and Christianity in general. The issues dealt with ranging from pornography and how it can limit individual freedom of action as people become slaves to their passions, which are extremely strong and hard to resist, leaving room for little else. Birth control, contraception, abortion as eugenic practices which are primarily aimed at demographic control and Catholics as the major force acting against this politically driven 'health care' system. Ideas on the implications of the messages of Fatima, and how many anti Christian countries, including Russia, are even today, moving together in coalition with the possibility that they could threaten the freedom of the Christianity and Christians worldwide. The idea that once, not so long ago (1950's), America was on the verge of becoming a Catholic country with a Catholic President and that the demographic changes wrought through the pushing of contraception, have prevented this to some degree. Lots of research, lots of sources quoted, good solidly argued, very enlightening stuff.

But something was wrong. I see this a lot with Catholic writers who seem to be very close to a sensitive issue, maybe even a sensitive truth. They destroy their own credibility. With monotonous regularity. The two writers I am referring to above, had me enthralled, until I turned the page (figuratively speaking) and both of them began to attack organisations and individuals of very high standing within the Catholic community. Organisations and individuals whom I greatly respect and who have given immesurable service to our Faith and asked for nothing in return. Who have gone that extra mile and given, out of love of Our Lord, freely to others, helping them to form their own Faith and conscience as my own was formed. The attacks also were on the most flimsy of pretexts, in such stark contrast to their other works, attacks riddled with pettiness, jealousy, innuendo, half truths.

The net effect of this is to stop you reading. I discard what I have read because I feel offended, let down, I now doubt the credibility and integrity of the material. It is a double attack. Not only do you lose faith in the useful educational material the writer has presented, you also can't help but wonder if there is any substance to the attack on the respected person or organisation they have also targetted, a seed of doubt is sown in the mind. The overall effect is very much to weaken and confuse the readers perception, their confidence in Catholic writers who seek to present some kind of truth to them. My instinct was to dismiss them entirely as cranks. But then I thought, why must we throw away the baby with the bathwater. I feel that perhaps on a supernatural level, people who deal very closely and intensely with the truth, may be systematically tempted. The temptation to pride and into areas which may serve to undermine their main, and highly valid, arguments, is a kind of subtefuge attack on the truth. Like the devil seeks to twist beauty and turn it into pornography, so he seeks also to twist truth, to turn something as beautiful and enlightening as a clear idea, a truth, clearly stated and well argued, and foul it up with something which turns attention more onto the writer as crank, than to the ideas he or she is presenting. This is not to deny the personal responsibility of the writer, but from my point of view I have decided that the best way to approach this issue in the future, is to avoid the knee jerk reaction. Take what helps build up Gods Kingdom on Earth, discard the sniping, petty attacks on fellow Catholics. Love the sinner and the truth he can present, hate the sin. I read something quite recently which I really like, it's the kind of thing I'd like to have pinned up on a poster somewhere, maybe at work, or could quote endlessly to people as a kind of catch phrase: "Better to light a candle than argue about the darkness" or something like that. To me it's up there with "Home Sweet Home".

Beware of the serpents smoke and mirrors, of the confusion he puts in the mind. Pray and return always to Our Lord, Our Blessed Mother, Sacred Scripture and the Holy Spirit.

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Dependence

2006-10-24T21:45:00.000+01:00

Purgatory

Posted on the 3rd Day of the 29th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Some time ago I began experiencing back pain, it's nearly gone now. I am very busy at work and at home, so I went to buy painkillers. In fact, to be honest, I did some research on Google to start with, I was determined to get hold of the strongest painkillers possible available without a prescription. I was determined not to let the back pain take me out of action this time, like it has on a couple of occasions in the past. I got the painkillers and needless to say, the back pain faded to a mild sensation. I got on with my life.

And then the back pain grew less and less intense, but not wanting to leave anything to chance, I took a couple of the painkillers each morning just to make sure I wasn't caught out. And then, somehow, I kind of carried on taking the painkillers, for a few days longer than I should have. There was something else I was trying to avoid along with the back pain, although I was only dimly aware of it. Whenever I didn't take the painkillers, I quickly discovered, I got a headache. I take a tablet, the headache disappears. And then I realise that I really don't need the painkillers anymore, the back pain, though still nagging and threatening a bit, has really gone away. But then I found that I had an upset stomach to go along with the headache, a couple of painkillers and away it goes. Wait a minute! What's happening here? Could I be in some way dependent on the damn things? Does this make me a...dare I say it...a 'drug addict'!!?? Well, I stop taking the tablets once and for all, and yes, there are one or two days of mild irritation, headaches, stomach upset, general discomfort. And then I realise, this is what it feels like to break a dependence, an attatchment. My body is cleansing itself from the offending substance which it had become attatched to in the medication. The sensation of this cleansing, of this breaking with a dependence, is uncomfortable, unpleasant, purgative.

It came to me then that in some way Purgatory is the mechanism by which our dependency is broken. Our dependence on sin, our attatchment to it. There is a real pain and suffering at the heart of the purgative act. It's not that we will have Purgatory somehow 'done to us', it is that, in the same way that my body cleanses and heals itself from an addiction, in effect carrying out its own mini purgatory, our souls undergo their purgative process as attatchments and dependencies are broken on a spiritual level. Sin, in all of its forms and guises, is the addictive substance which enters into the substance of the soul. Purgatory is the opening of the hand to let go, just as I, through a force of will, let go of a need to avoid pain by ceasing to take the medication I had bought, my body does the rest and although the interim is somewhat painful, the end result is necessary, natural and beneficial.

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Vulgarity

2006-10-23T22:59:00.000+01:00

Soldiers cast lots for Christ's garments.

Posted on the 2nd Day of the 29th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

According to Thomas a Kempis, all is vanity. I would agree with him and add that today all is vulgarity also. Thomas a Kempis was speaking of mans' efforts, his pride in his own accomplishments. Being pleased with oneself and ones own efforts. But the effort and the self don't belong to us, we belong to another, our Creator, to our brothers and sisters too. Sometimes God lets you see this vulgarity in all its ugliness. Today I just couldn't seem to get away from it. Wherever I turned, at work, at the shopping mall, on my way home, people cast lots, their backs turned to the Lamb of God, whom they had Crucified, and He suffers over and over as people fight over His garments, the material elements of his Creation. In agony on the Cross he is ignored, as men dash here and there, puffed up in their self importance, intent on dust, ashes, the clothes of the dying and the condemned. At work there is anger and stress, a disagreement over something, over a product so petty and ridiculous that it is beneath our scorn. On the TV, a woman dancing being sprayed with water, smiling crazily as if she is queen of the world, it's meant to be funny, ironic-but-serious. Today it just looks ugly.

Sometimes God removes the scales from our eyes and we see ourselves and the world we have made in the harshest light. At times like this in the past I have prayed for consolation. Lord I don't want to live in a world that looks like this! In his infinite compassion and mercy he gives me back the mist in the eyes, so that I continue to see as if 'through a glass darkly'. Today I realise that we cannot put off seeing the world for what it is, His Creation, beautiful and perfect in itself, spoiled and distorted by man. The human person acting without a conecpt or acknowedgement of God is a truly ugly thing. True vulgaritiy.

I came home feeling tired, unwell, as if I was somehow inhabiting a different life. I realised that it's time to dispense with the dark glass, the comfort zone. That Faith without Works is nothing. That unless I am prepared to follow the example others have set, I am no more than the vulgar self seeker, self obsessed, dead.

For something to do I tidy my daughters bedroom. She has lots of posters and pictures cut out of music magazines. The men are all tattooed, puffed up with themselves, adoring the attention of crowds, photographers, bleary eyed, trying to look menacing or quirky or funny. Trying to stretch themselves and the images they project in such a way as to gain some kind of credibility in their own eyes and the eyes of those who, for whatever reason, they might wish to impress. It is a vulgar and ugly sight and I feel sorry for my daughter and angry with myself that I cannot make her see this emptiness in the way that I see it. That she must come to learn this lesson for herself, have the veil torn and the scales taken from her eyes one day and feel exposed and vulnerable and shocked. Because in the end, sooner or later, Our Lord removes the darkness and exposes us all in the unbearable but inevitable light of the New Day dawning. In and of ourselves this light is unbearable, but only as He dwells in us and we in Him are we given the strength and Grace to inhabit this light as His Children and his chosen people.

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Dust

2006-10-22T18:34:00.000+01:00

The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass

Posted on the 1st Day of the 29th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

The Mass I attended today looked nothing like that pictured in the holy card above. In its tattered ordinariness, in the small bare prefabricated church I attend at the end of my street, there was infinitely more beauty and unimaginable grace. In the vernacular new order Mass made by man for man, Christ still enters, charging our sacred space with such immediate power and awesome presence, that the holy card fantasy fails to compare in any way, shape or form. Such is the power of the Holy Mass where the Lord of all Creation becomes present, new or old, modern or traditional, Latin or vernacular, the distinctions are as nothing in the presence of the Holy One.

This was brought home to me today. I am very fond of the Catholic church which I attend in my village. It is a tattered pre fabricated building, constructed I think in the mid 1970's in the grounds of an old peoples home at the end of my street. The Mass is usually fairly well attended, by ordinary people, not the wealthy or the distinguished, many of them are poor. Sometimes the organ works well, other times it makes the weirdest of noises, but our skilled organist toughs it out every Sunday and makes the best job possible. The interior is sparse, but there are some hangings made by school kids and the place is always spotless. The Blessed Virgin always has fresh flowers. To be honest, I love the place though many wouldn't see that much to love in it. It will be a shame if they close it down, which is currently being considered by the Diosesce.

A strange thing happened today. I have never felt offended during Mass before and have always tried to keep an open mind with regard to the Priest's Homily. Putting aside my personal views and acknowledging that whatever a Priest may say during the Homily, he will go on to confect the Blessed Sacrament during the consecration, enabling us all to become joined to Our Lord via the Holy Communion and that our recieving of Our Lord is in itself the real lesson and benefit of attendance at the Holy Mass.

I won't go into details with regard to Father's Homily. All I will say is that I was left with the distinct feeling that maybe he really wanted to be a Methodist Preacher and that he didn't like Catholics very much and tried to make us feel a little guilty that we were, in fact, all Catholic. Crusades and papal states and ecclesiastical landowners were all dragged in and given a bit of a liberal bashing. Even the battleship 'The Immaculate Conception' was mentioned (you learn something new every Homily I guess). It was very quiet after the Homily, icily quiet. Not even the coughing and grunting that usually goes on. Silence. People were sitting a little stiffly, the way you do when you feel you may have just been offended but can't quite work out how or why. I felt that, had I been at that point, wavering in my Faith a little, or uncertain over the history of my Church, the congregation may have lost a member that day. I felt as if our congregation had been weakened a little, rather than strengthened by the Priests Homily and that seemed wrong. The irony was that the Gospel reading today was all about service. But I did not feel that our Church had been served. I began to chew over whether to write a letter of complaint, or send an email to the Parish Office etc. I even began to consider walking out of the Mass at that point and resolved to pray for guidance in the matter. Father started to announce the Bidding Prayer, his voice seemed strange, tight, far away and I'm sure I wasn't imagining this, his voice seemed to be becoming thinner, more inconsequential as if lost in the air and the emptiness of what had been said.

A lady came to the lectern to read the Bidding Prayers and then I had to smile. Whether in conscious response to Father's Homily or by the pure good grace of Our Lord she started, in a very loud and confident voice, in stark contrast to Fathers introductory words, to say the Prayer calling for the obedience of the clergy, asking God to help those Clergy who found servility to Holy Mother Church difficult. And then the Mass was back in full colour. In all its vividness and splendour. The Hail Mary was said, the internal logic and process of the Mass resumed, the rollercoaster ride that cannot be stopped, that washes everything clean in it's path, that levels all other parts of itself so that the congregants come away having been in the Real Presence of the Lord of All, His Precious Body, Blood Soul and Divinity. A Gift so awesome that all falls in its wake. The words of man rendered nothing more than dust and blown away in the wind.

I guess there are occasions where a Priest, for whatever personal reason, may wish to conduct a ceremony which fails to result in the Real Presence of Our Lord. But this ceremony is not a Holy Mass. All thoughts of complaint left me as I recieved communion from the Priest, thankful for this awesome gift which only he could give me at that particular place and that particular time. And God teaches us in situations like this that, despite ourselves and our sometimes less than perfect shepherds, it is He, not the Priest, who initiates and realizes His Own Presence in the Mass. No mere man could call down the God of All Creation, Lord of the Universe and make him Victim in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. It is all Gods Work, just as we are all His Creation.

In some strange way, the poor Homily and less than servile Priest gave me confidence. Confidence that through all our imperfections, our constant 'getting it wrong' the end result, by the Grace of Our Lord, can still be good, and right and proper if we cooperate with his Grace.

I thanked the Lord for another beautiful Mass and resolved to include Father in my prayers and also to pray that our beaten but wonderful Church stays open.

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Childhood

2006-10-21T18:51:00.000+01:00

Infanti - Holy Card

Posted on the 7th Day of the 28th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Today I picked up my daughter from town. She had been out with a friend and had a great time. They were really excited when I picked her up, laughing and giggling, being daft as only kids can be. They were both sharing one scarf and my daughter had bought a silly wand thing that made a noise if you pressed a button.

In the car on our way home she is quiet, she's really tired. "It's your birthday next month" I say, by way of conversation. "I don't like the number 13!" she says. "It's only a number" I say, "or do you just not feel like being a teenager." She looks at me. "I don't want to be a teenager" she says.

I was about to tell her how great it is growing up. How great it is to have your own freedom, to be able to make choices for yourself, do your own thing etc etc. But I didn't, because it isn't. My 12 year old daughter understands something fundamental about life that I only glimpse now and again, wrapped up as I am in my adult life. That there is a lot of pain in life, a great deal of suffering that only seems to increase as we get older. I was about to tell her how great it is to become 'your own person' etc. But I didn't. I don't want to lie to her. I don't want her to know about money worries, relationship problems, awareness of evil in the world. In our car on the way home she is still wrapped in that luxuriant blanket of childhood. Protected from a strange and incomprehensible world, full of people fighting and disagreeing over what amounts to dust and ashes. We glide through the early evening, U2 on the CD player and for her, here and now, all is right with the world. She is in the right place and by the Grace of God, in the Holy protectorate of the Family. I remembered my own childhood then, aching days full of freedom. The real true freedom of childhood, before we begin to sin and fall away. The awareness of God that every child has whether they really know it or not. The gift of time and absorption in the present moment. Like most kids I was in a hurry to grow up and start making some real big mistakes (which I am sad to say I did with monotonous regularity). But my daughter is wise, intuitive, revelling in her childhood years. I squeezed her hand and marvelled again at how much I love her.

We pull up to the house. It's warm and as usual full of the smell of overcooked food as my wife cooks and works on her PC which is in the kitchen at the same time. My daughter dives straight for the laptop so she can chat to the friend she has just been out with. My wife walks out of the kitchen with a mushroom burger and sits on the sofa to eat it. I have to go straight out again for some reson, so we say 'hi' then 'bye' and make some good natured small talk. God filled moments.

I get back in the car and drive away and for some reason there are tears streaming down my cheeks.

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Suffer

2006-10-21T12:24:00.000+01:00

Jesus Curses the Fig Tree - Mediaeval

Posted on the 5th Day of the 28th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Jesus cursing the fig tree scares me more than almost any other story in Scripture, Old and New Testament. Commentaries on this event, point to the state of Israel at that time, that it was all show (outward virtue) while bearing no real fruit for humanity. Of course this is part of why Our Lord became incarnate, to bring all nations to himself. However, I think this story has implications for everyone on an individual level also.

The excuse the fig tree had is that it was out of season. It wasn't the right time of year for figs. Our Lord cursed it anyway. As humans with free will, we don't have the same luxury as the fig tree. All seasons are the right season, all times are the right time. It is part of what we are as the Children of God that we transcend time, place, season. When Our Lord comes to us to ask, we must freely give and have something to give. The fruit must be on the branch, ripe and ready to be plucked. Otherwise we are cut down and cast away, cursed.

The difficulty I always have with this in my own life is that I am never sure what fruit the Lord wants me to bear. What does He mean by 'bear fruit'? Have children? Give alms? These things are within my 'comfort zone' and as such are easy for me to do. But what I know and what my conscience nags at me about, is that it isn't enough, by a long way. I make excuses. I work very long hours, my family life is chaotic and demanding, I have a lot of responsibilities and obligations just to keep things ticking over. What I am really saying through all of this though, is that it's not the right season (for me to do the other things I should be doing to help build up the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth). Am I failing to bear fruit? Jesus gave us an example in that he reserved nothing for himself or his family. He gave himself away wholly and absolutley on the Cross in order to save mankind. An act of pure Love and Charity. This is what he expects from us. The kind of fruit we are supposed to bear through our Poverty and Charity. Every act in our lives should have this as its guiding force. It is what we are here for, this building up of the Kingdom of God. In my own life I know I very badly need to venture out from my 'comfort zone', and find real ways in which I can help build up this Kingdom. Otherwise what am I? Just a passenger, a tourist, here to see what life might bring me? This is most decidedly not the purpose of life, just to experience it. We are the Children of God and as such we have the God given duty to strengthen his Kingdom on Earth, to do what our brothers and sisters need when they come to us naked, starving, incarcerated and dying (suffering). In order to do this, by very definition we have to step outside of the 'comfort zone' and in doing this we donate more than the easy tithe, the church collection, the love we have for our children or our neighbour, we donate our very suffering. In order to really help, we must by definition suffer to make that help effective. In doing this we not only give what might be needed, but we also give the example of our own lives for others to follow, therby strengthening the future too.

Like the fig tree suffering will come to us if we fail to bear fruit. But the suffering we experience through the fruits we do bear is that, our fruit is taken away from us and used by the Lord of the Vinyard for His Own Purpose to best build and strengthen his Kingdom here on Earth. We may see the results of those fruits, we may very well not and neither should we expect to, nor become attatched to those outcomes. What is clear is that, in the Vinyard, the dead trees are always and forever, cut down and cast into fire.

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Armour

2006-10-19T10:42:00.000+01:00

St Michael, Archangel

Posted on the 5th Day of the 28th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -
by the Divine Power of God -
cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

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Teacher

2006-10-18T16:37:00.000+01:00

Carl Heinrich Bloch - Christ Teaching at the Temple

Posted on the 4th Day of the 28th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Today God taught me something. Every other lunchtime during the week I attend a small chapel in the local shopping mall. I am extremely lucky in that daily Eucharistic Adoration takes place here and I am privilidged that every day, if I choose, I am able to pray the Rosary before the Blessed Sacrament. Today I entered the small chapel as usual, there was another 'regular' in there already, one of the official 'Adorers' who maintain the vigil while the exposition takes place.

I began to pray the Rosary as usual, today it was the Glorious Mysteries. It's funny how we seem to have preferences in these things. I have always thought I preferred both the Joyful and the Sorrowful Mysteries, however, today I felt was beginning to appreciate the Glorious Mysteries more than ever before. It was time for God to give me a kick.

A lady entered the chapel, she was a stranger, nervous in this quiet, small, almost intimate setting. She approached me and very politely asked if I knew how how the mechanical candle dispenser worked. Having never used the machine before (I have to admit that the electric candles just somehow seem 'wrong' to me), I said something to the effect that I wasn't sure how it worked and then I turned to the 'regular' sitting behind me, interrupted his prayer and asked if he knew (knowing for sure that he did and that he would help the lady).

Now, the regular 'Adorer' who was on vigil at this particular time has a disability. He prays the Rosary with both feet because, either through accident or birth, he has no arms. Because of this obvious disability he takes a while to get settled and comfortable with a Rosary, or Scriptural and prayer texts that he may happen to be reading. At my request he dropped all this, got up and showed the lady how the candle machine worked, balancing on one leg and using his feet to show her the buttons and the coin slot.

I am my brothers keeper. He comes to me (in the form of my brother or sister) and I must clothe and feed him. I was shocked with what my immediate response had been to a simple request for help of a very straightforward kind. My immediate, unthinking and almost automatic response was to divert that request away from myself. Even when aware that my brother, to whom I diverted my request, was disabled, was also in prayer as I was myself. Something in me wrongly felt that the responsibility was more his than mine. That my new and fine appreciation of the Glorious Mysteries somehow took precedence over an innocent request for simple assistance. God showed me here, very directly, that beautiful and mysterious though the Rosary is, and it is a most beautiful thing, what he really wants from us is that living prayer, the unthinking automatic charitable response to our neighbour, our brother or sister, and ultimatley, through them we are giving that response to Our Lord as Christ is present in our neighbour. Though He came to me in person, I was too intent on a beautiful idea of him to see the real image of Christ who was presented to me in the chapel, needing a gentle and simple helping hand.

Immediatley after I had turned to my fellow congregant to ask for his help I felt guilty and appalled with myself. It was as if God had taken a picture of my real self, given me a kick and shown it to me. A side of myself I don't very often become aware of or acknowledge. A lack of humility, an impatient deflective response to strangers rather than that open, welcoming charity which Our Lord expects from us. All of this in the very presence of Our Lord in the Holy Eucharist.

I think that the safest way to deal with situations like these from now on is to assume that, if someone asks me for help, then God actually wants me to deal with this request myself, out of Love and Charity, out of poverty of Spirit. He comes to us in the form of our neighbours, in the forms of strangers, it is our duty to welcome all, to be prepared to lay down our lives unthinking rather than be caught off guard in attatchment to our own unimportant needs.

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Hail Mary

2006-10-17T23:37:00.000+01:00

Ave Maria

Posted on the 3rd Day of the 28th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

"Whenever I say Hail Mary The court of heaven rejoices and the earth is lost in wonderment. And I despise the world, and my heart is brim-full of the love of God. All my fears wilt and die and my passions are quelled. Devotion grows within me and sorrow for sin awakens. Hope is made strong in my breast and the dew of consolation falls on my soul. More and more. And my spirit rejoices, and sorrow fades away.."
From: "The Secret of the Rosary" by St. Louis De Montfort

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Sorrow

2006-10-15T22:17:00.000+01:00

Mater Dolorosa (Sorrowing Madonna), 1470-1475 - Dieric Bouts

Posted on the 2nd Day of the 28th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

My eldest daughter is a smiler. Well both of my daughters are really, but particularly my eldest. I remember when she was little (she's teenage now), she would always smile and laugh, even when getting told off, engaging with others is a happy thing for her, her joy. She gets a hard time at school, she is extremely bright and attractive and popular, other kids get jealous and try to hurt her. Her naivite is wearing off a little but not her beautiful, loveable gullability, she says "I'm a cynic now!" and I reply "Really." Smiling inwardly because she is the least cynical person I know. In the infinite Grace of God I share my life with her without really deserving it, a bright light, loving life, shining on me. I treasure every moment, knowing it won't be forever.

A friend of hers (a boy) had spent the day at our house and as we took him home in the evening she engaged with him in the car, smiling, joyful, making a big effort for a little return, making him feel at ease and included. They said goodnight and then she sat silently in the back as I pulled away. As well as being a Smiler, my daughter is a Talker. A non stop, incessant chatterer. But tonight she was quiet. "He was nasty to me", she said; "I'm sick of people being nasty to me for no reason". I consoled her a little bit but didn't ask too many questions, she gets mad at me if I probe too much, I can sense the very rare occasions she needs to be left to herself.

We slowed down for traffic lights after a few minutes, I turned to look at her, my larger than life daughter was hunched and small in the back seat, her lips pressed tightly together, her eyes not focussed, not aware of me watching her, her face, long and aged with sorrow, a slight frown on her forehead. "You Ok?" I ask. "Mm." she replies good naturedly. She is far away, cradling an emotion she is not sure of as if it was an unfamiliar animal. Not hurt, or anger, or even disappointment. Just sorrow. I turned back to the road and something caught my eye, high up, a light on in an attic room in a house that we were passing, a girl standing there, putting something in a sink, maybe an empty cup. I remembered when I was young, as a student I was shown into an impossibly small attic room I was thinking of renting. I felt that strange emotion back then, possibly for the first time, alone, not knowing where I was going to live, with no conception or even the slightest understanding of the Graces which are freely offered to us all. Just myself and an aching, empty feeling which didn't last too long.

After a while she asked me to switch the radio on, we laughed and joked over something inane and nonsensical, planned to buy a chinese takeaway and watch a film on TV. Moments so on fire and alive with Grace and consolation that I wonder how Our Lord deems that I deserve any of it. And Sunday night slips by us in the ordinary sounds of road noise, radio chatter, darkness outside, familiar streets, the ordinary emptiness of the end of the weekend.

We watch 'Munich' and eat our chinese takeaway. The film is like a badly acted reality show with a sinister undertone. Retribution, revenge, pettiness..My daughter watches men running around, frantic with hatred, killing one another, not really grasping it, not really wanting to. She promptly falls asleep. I switch off 'Munich', crossing Spielberg off my Christmas card list, for letting my Smiler of a daughter down, because she wanted to share something and be challenged as an adult, not just horrified and disgusted.

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Scripture

2006-10-15T13:39:00.000+01:00

Holy Spirit -( Stained Glass)

Posted on the 1st Day of the 28th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

Faith is the mechanism by which we are saved. Because we are creatures, created, we cannot know anything in fullness in this created world. Like the table cannot really know the carpenter. Yet we are impregnated with the Word. Through revelation and Scripture we are given the path to follow. It is the only path, none other is marked out for us. And everywhere we look in Scripture it points to the same place. There is never any contradiction, any confusion, the signposts are there and we have to follow, or be left behind. Faith is what God has given us to bind us to the path. Faith is not equivalent to belief. It is the divine binding to the path of freedom. It is given to us by Scripture and revelation. It is a free gift like God's Grace, and like His Grace it must be freely accepted. In darkness and confusion and with no other light to guide us, Faith will save. In the last moments when all certainty falls away, when our very physical life is taken, it will be absolutely all that remains: "Eloi, Eloi, lamma sabachthani?" In that final moment there is only Faith and it is the very mechanism which saves us, allowing us to make that leap across the void. The Word of God triggers and sustains that faith in us. We are receptacles of the Word. It is as if our physical bodies and minds were designed specifically and primarily to recieve it, all other activities being secondary. Ears which hear, eyes which see, intellect which can comprehend, language to transmit it. It is our function and purpose to recieve and act upon the Word of God. It is the seed in the mind and the invisible saving cloak of the body. The path to freedom.

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Resurrection

2006-10-15T01:43:00.000+01:00

The Morning of the Resurrection
Burne-Jones, Sir Edward Coley

Posted on the 7th Day of the 27th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

Christianity is a religion of Freedom. There is no bondage in our Faith. The ultimate freedom is promised, freedom from death. Death is portrayed as the binding of the person through sin. Lazarus was freed by Jesus, signified by the removal of his bindings. Sin is the word for that bondage. Paralysis and death are its fruit, as it binds us to things which cannot nourish us. We become fused to the dead things we place in our hearts until we become more them than ourselves. Christ seeks to free us from that which binds us. He seeks to enter the heart of man so that the whole person is nourished and freed. He even offers himself on the altar to us every day. Death itself is not freedom, rather it is as we are unbound from death and flee in total freedom from it, that there is no turning back. We must flee in our hearts from that which binds us and fails to nourish us. The wellspring of Grace is the source of that ultimate freedom. Jesus Christ Our Lord, its source. It flows eternally and in abundance, freely offered, requiring only acceptance by man, instead of rejection.

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Derision

2006-10-14T13:00:00.000+01:00

La Charité
by William Adolph Bouguereau

Posted on the 6th Day of the 27th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

I happened to be watching CSI last night (the Las Vegas variety). The victim was a faked suicide, a young seemingly single parent lying with a fatal bullet wound to the head in front of her infant who was in his cot. The camera pans around the victims living room, there is a Crucifix prominently hanging on the wall by the door. It goes down hill from there.

I have always enjoyed CSI. I find they generally deal with sensitive issues in a clever, intelligent and non sensational, non gratuitous way. Except, it seems, Christianity and pro life issues. I have to say I switched the channel before the episode finished as I felt angry and disappointed at the way the beliefs which I hold, were openly and unapologetically derided. I regret this now, maybe the story redeemed itself by the end, it didn't look like it was going to, but I won't know unless I see a repeat.

The victim at one point was referred to as 'Virgin Mary'. The story portrayed the victim as a virgin who had given birth. A throw away reference was then made to the fact that this was entirely possible, and that intercourse doesn't have to actually take place if foreplay of a certain nature occurs. I won't go into detail. The connection was made there, intentionally. The term 'Virgin Mary' was used and linked to an undermining description of an event which was supposed to refute the idea of the miraculous impregnation of the Blessed Virgin Mary by the Holy Spirit. Everyone smiled wryly and sighed. The wry, knowing smile being used over and over again by Willows (one of the main characters), in her encounters with a pro life activisit who (the story goes on to tell us) used our hapless Christian victim as in incubator for the 'left over' embryos from fertiliasation treatment.

Ok - assault and undermine the pro-life movement who I support. Ok - attack one of the very foundations of my Faith in a casual and wry fashion as if it is your (God) given right. No problem, I'll survive. But link the two together and assault them both? This makes it a clever, insidious and directed attack - a 'clever' attack designed to appeal to 'clever' people. Willows hackles rose so extremely as she interviewed the pro life activist, it was as if the pro life movement, to her character (and the writers of the show) represented a greater evil than the death of the victim she was supposedly investigating.

It's tiring to ask why we allow this. Why we don't respond. Why we allow these attacks on our Faith, from every corner, to continue unabated. We live in an information soaked age - the volume and scale of the information we are bombarded with on a daily basis constitues a shock and awe attack on the human psyche. As always the Church and the true Faith are under attack, as a whole and on an individual level with each of its members equally a battle ground between truth, life and light on the one hand and lies, death and darkness on the other.

Always keep both eyes wide open.

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Conscience

2006-10-12T22:00:00.000+01:00

The Expulsion from Eden, 17th century
Artist unknown

Posted on the 5th Day of the 27th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

I have often wondered recently why I don't easily find peace of mind. I hear of peace in Christ, but don't, very often, experience this peace myself, except in prayer or during Mass, or when praying the Rosary. It came to me today however, that peace of mind stems from the assurance that we are not offending God. In our words, deeds, actions or thoughts. For various reasons I feel I offend Our Lord in my daily life. For example, when I lose my temper with others (often), when I show impatience (often), when I criticize others (sometimes), when I am obstructive or demanding of respect at work (occasionally), when I drive dangerously, when I indulge a desire or spend money which benefits no one except an impulse, when I get angry with my kids (not too often) or when I let something go with them which I should deal with. All of these things detract from my dignity as a Catholic Christian. They prevent me from realizing the nature we have been handed, as new Creatures, by Our Lord's sacrifice on the Cross. We became a new people, were handed a new and priestly nature and we must live up to it. The impulses which lead to the faults I mentioned above, are symptoms of our attatchment to our basest self. We have to overcome this self to be clothed in the nature God intended for us, and paid for with His Precious Blood. We never have the right to the anger we feel, especially not toward a loved one, the indignity we believe we suffer does not belong to us. Our feelings, desires, emotional disturbances are dust, they mean and are nothing. The restlessness in my soul is because I sometimes avoid the fullness of God's Grace. The palpable living spring which is freely offered, endlessly, and which I only have be open to and predisposed to recieve. But the cares of the world, a tragedy, a poison apple cleverly offered and freely taken, they constrict my openness to His Grace. And I fall away, little by little, without realising, without knowing that I'm not caring. And the world, in its infinite variety and brightness, rushes in to fill the void, and sin compounds tragedy and life becomes death. But through all of this the lifeline of my conscience. Like a compass needle it guides me through the black ocean where the star of God's Grace seems far away and hopelessly out of reach. But before I know it, He has rushed out to meet me half way and help me home again.

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Rahab

2006-10-11T22:23:00.000+01:00

Rahab Hides the Spies - Frederick Richard Pickersgill

Posted on the 4th Day of the 27th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

Joshua sent two spies secretly from Shittim with the following order "Go and look over the land well, especially the city of Jericho." The spies went and as soon as they came to Jericho, they went to the house of the prostitute named Rahab. But someone told the king of Jericho: "Some Israelites have entered here tonight to spy on us." So the king of Jericho sent word to Rahab: "Send those men out of your house because they came to spy on the land" But the woman had hidden them, so she said: "It is true; they came to my house but I did not know where they came from. And at nightfall, shortly before the city gates were to be closed, they went out. I do not know where they went, but hurry and you will surely overtake them. The woman had hidden them on the roof of the house, under the stalks of flax which she kept there. The pursuers went to search for them by the road leading to the valley of the Jordan, and as they went out, the city gates were closed.

Then the woman went up to where she had hidden the spies of Joshua, and she said to them: "I know that Yahweh, your God, has given this land to you; we are frightened and the inhabitants of the land tremble before you. We know how Yahweh dried up the waters of the Red Sea to let you cross when you came out of Egypt. We know what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who lived at the other side of the Jordan, to Sihon and Og, whom you destroyed by anathema.
The news has frightened us, and everyone has lost courage because of you, for Yahweh, your God, is a God in heaven above as he is on earth below. Now then, swear to me by Yahweh that just as I have been faithful to you, so shall you be towards my family, and respect the life of my father, mother, brothers and sisters, and all that belong to them."

The men answered: "Provided that you do not reveal our talk, then we will pay back life for life when Yahweh hands over to us this land, and we will deal generously and faithfully with you."

Then she let them down by a rope through the window, since her house was built into the city wall. But she said to them: "Go through the mountains so that you do not meet those who pursue you. Remain in hiding for three days, until they return, and then you may go your way."

They answered: "See how we shall fulfill our oath. When we enter this land, tie this scarlet cord as a sign on the window through which we have escaped. Bring into your house your father, mother, brothers and sisters, and all your relatives. If any of them leaves the house, he shall be the one responsible for his death, and the guilt will not be ours. But if anyone who is with you is killed, then may the punishment for his death come upon us. However, be careful not to reveal our plan. If you do, then we are freed from the oath we have sworn." Rahab said to them: "So be it." And after she had sent them off, she tied a scarlet cord to the window.

The men went into the mountains and hid there for three days, until their pursuers had returned. These men had searched in vain for them everywhere. Then the two spies came down again from the mountains and, crossing the Jordan River, came to Joshua, son of Nun, and gave him an account of their mission and everything that had happened. They said to Joshua: "Yahweh has given all this land into our hands; their inhabitants already tremble before us."

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Incarnation

2006-10-10T22:20:00.000+01:00

Incarnation Window - Chartres Cathedral

Posted on the 3rd Day of the 27th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

I heard someone on EWTN tonight say that as Catholics we believe that everything is Incarnational. That everything has come into being as a result of God's will. Is sustained alone and wholly by the will of God, is a Creation and Creature of God. How precious is our Incarnation, that God could choose it to cease at any moment but does not, that the very balance of our life is an act of God's will, a pure act of love sustaining us all in existence from moment to moment, without ceasing, for all eternity. Our Incarnation means we are wholly dependent on that same God for our very lives, each second, every day, whether we are good or bad, believer or non believer. Despite ourselves He keeps us all present in our lives. If God left the universe our lives would end, the reality we are clothed with as the fabric of our beings would simply cease to be. God is Love. In our Incarnation we are each and every one of us sustained in detail as we are. Our God is a personal God who knows each of us wholly. Every hair on our head is known and numbered, every minute facet of our being, every thought, fear, hope, anguish, joy is recognised. We are created, known and loved in every detail and tiny facet of our lives. Sustained and given freedom like the children that we are. Our Lord shared our Incarnation, the infinitley small details of living in the physical world, the never ending stream of activity and complexity, the fire of the world consuming us every moment and like the burning bush we are sustained and never ever left alone.

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War

2006-10-09T22:38:00.000+01:00

Ship of Fools - Bosch

Posted on the 2nd Day of the 27th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

I drive to work every day, and often other drivers get in my way. I feel angry with them and sometimes shout and curse, on my own, in the car. I get impatient. In the tired early morning with two kids on the school run. One a teenager, one soon to be. Two kids who I love more than my life, who I would die for without any hesitation. Who are my life, my all and everything. Yet I am impatient with my daughter when she doesn't smile at me as she gets in the car. I get irritated with her because she was fretting over her fringe not being cut straight yesterday. I let myself be offended by her little temper, over herself, her appearance. My gentle loving daughter, whom I adore, who I know loves me too. We fight a little. But we are quick to make up because we mean so much to each other. My youngest daughter. She is tired and trying to do something with her MySpace page, change the background I think. She tries it again and shows me, it doesn't work and she runs off shouting. I shout after her not to be so silly and impatient. But she is only tired and my raised voice only upsets her more. And I want to help her and fix her page for her. Because I love her more than anything I have ever known or seen or can imagine. But I am still capable of being angry with her. Why is this? How can we be so damaged? When there is a love that is so great it hurts, we are still capable of hurting what we love. It is a sickness. Concupisence. A predisposition to sin. This is why we cannot be left alone, to our own devices, without the rules of our Faith, without the love and guidance of our Father, our Blessed Mother, Our Lord. There is no area of human life which does not fall terribly and tragically into conflict. Forgetting we are Brother and Sister, that we must be Last, laying down our very essence for our comapnions. Without our Faith and because of our fallen nature, we would tear ourselves and each other to pieces, because of the great sickness in our hearts. Our redemption is in our being grafted onto the True Vine, bonded to Him, never allowing anything to seperate us.

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Poverty

2006-10-08T23:35:00.000+01:00

The Marriage at Cana - c. 1495/1497

Posted on the 1st Day of the 27th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

Poverty is a maligned and misunterstood word. It's used like the word 'disease' is used, to describe something bad. Yet poverty is addictive. When you finally can get clear of the mist, the fog in the eyes and mind. When you can get clear of wanting and needing, even the essentials, you begin to understand what poverty can mean. When you decide to give everything away, what do you need to keep? When you can make the mental leap without fear. To give everything away, to give yourself away and to keep giving even when there is nothing left, because there is never nothing left. Our Lord refills you, continuously, always and forever, at the wedding feast of your giving. Where you are at once the bride that is given away, the father who loses and the groom who gains. There is always and everywhere, abundance. Even when men try to stifle and destroy it - the giving away of oneself cannot be stopped, the marriage feast of our giving is an eternal celebration, to which all are welcome and must be invited. Know this about yourself, this giving away is something all of us can do, and have to do at the very end. Here is an example: I work in a very secular job. I work with many people I don't quite gel with, people who often may see me as an obstacle - or to put it plainly, people who I find difficult to be around and who, I am guessing, don't like much being around me either. However, what makes this ok sometimes is that I love them. I find them hard and difficult and stress inducing. But in my poverty - the poverty I try to realize, very imperfectly in myself, I love them. I would die for them. All of them.

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A Friday Mass

2006-10-07T23:33:00.000+01:00

Allelulia by Thomas Cooper Gotch

Posted on the 7th Day of the 26th Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - Year B

The setting is a County Durham Roman Catholic church in the UK, built circa 1975. It's a squarish building that looks more like a temporary storage facility. It has an impossibly long ramp up to the main door to the church, this is so that a multi purpose public area could be housed underneath. I think on Fridays it's used as the local Catholic youth club.

There are a few cars parked on the rough tarmac parking area, which is larger than the church itself. I entered the church through the 'youth club' area beneath, taking the stairs up to the main area. I hold the door for an elderly couple who seem suprised I've just appeared behind them. The man says to his wife, "Don't get excited now", I smile at them and try to look courteous and non threatening (not easy in my case). The stairs have a stairlift and I can hear a faint discussion suggestive of the fact that it's non functional.

I walk down the central isle and gesticulate, kneeling breifly before taking a position on an entirely empty pew on the right hand side of the altar, two thirds of the way back. This always seems to be my habitual spot, whenever there's a free choice. There are about three or four people already kneeling or seated, it's about 7 or 8 minutes before the Holy Mass is due to begin.

A strange thing happens then. I sense and can see out of the corner of my eye, a small group, maybe three or four people clogged up in the central isle. A woman is talking fairly loudly. At first I think she is saying 'It's good', possibly as part of a conversation, the rest of which is too quiet to hear. Like conversations you can half overhear when one of the parties is hard of hearing, you hear their loud answers to quieter questions. Then I realise the woman is thinking out loud, not talking as part of a conversation, what she is saying is: 'It's God' and then, 'It's God here' in a matter of fact voice. As she says this I can hear loud shaking or rustling coming to a crescendo. I think it's the plastic bag she is carrying but I can't be sure as I don't turn round to look, the shaking sound gets more violent and louder as if she can't contain something, 'It's God..' matter of fact. People stand concerned for a moment, I think to keep an eye on her and make sure she is ok, then they drift off to the pews. She walks past me normally, an old lady, unconcerned, round shouldered, wearing a heavy coat, carrying a plastic bag, seemingly alone. What is God teaching us through her?

The Priest enters. I notice 2 crucifix shadows on the cieling above the altar but can't work out how they're being cast. Not one but 3 Priests enter. We say 'Good Evening Father' he introduces his colleagues and explains why they're there, I forget now. A nervous lady reads from the book of Jobe and the words just clear away the fog and nonsense in me. Like Jobe, I wasn't there either, when the foundations of the world were laid, like Jobe, I know nothing, understand nothing, am a creature and creation and miracle of God, made from nothing and returning to nothing, and the small group I am sharing this with, the elderly, the sick, the ordinary, the poor the beautiful, we struggle to make sense, to love and understand, to be worthy of ourselves and to our Lord and our brothers and sisters, to be the Children of God that we are. Servants of the Sick and Poor, who are our most high masters.

And there's the noise, the coughing and grunting, creaking and too loud traffic sounds, and kids shouting harshly outside, and the wind tearing around outside like it does in October. There's responses shouted, grunted, whispered, oddly intoned, in broken and nervous and resplendent voices. But then the great hush and the Great Secret that every Catholic comes to Mass for. When the host is consecrated and God Himself enters the church, the silence when everything in the world stops because Our Lord and Creator of the Universe, sick with His love for us, consumed and burning in His desire to be one with us, accepts our humble beaten gifts, our sad and sorrowful offerings, and in His love and sorrow He possesses the Host, becomes the Victim in the eternal sacrifice and offers himself to us in an act of infinite abandon, a giving away that cannot be stopped and cannot cease, in Love, Humility and Sorrow as the river of tears that we are accepts this free and ultimate Gift which transcends all and everything. And the church is no longer the church but the seat of Heaven, the House of the Lord God Almighty, where he dwells among us. The Lady with the plastic bag, no longer an elderly, infirm dependent, but a temple of our Creator, Lord of the Universe, infinite in her dignity as she recieves the Host, begins shaking a little and is helped toward the precious Blood by a companion. Into her God is recieved and dwells, his real Flesh and Blood, His whole Self, Body, Blood Soul and Divinity.

Like Jobe, I know nothing, understand nothing, was not there when foundations were laid. Just wonder and gratitude and awe on this good Friday in October.

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