Saturday, November 11, 2006


Christ with the Doubting Thomas - Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

Posted on the 4th Day of the 31st Week of Ordinary Time - 2006 AD - (Year B)

I was a late convert to Catholicism. Ironically though, I feel I have been a Catholic all of my life, in everything but name. The Catholic Church has called to me for as long as I can remember. In subtle ways She has always been there, gently insisting, through all of my doubting, my not knowing, my mistaken beliefs and non beliefs, She was there, our Blessed Mother, calling for the wayward sheep, calling me back home, into the fold where the Good Shepherd awaits. When I look back on my doubt, it seems shallow and thin. A hollow thing. I was interested in what science had to say about the universe, and still am to some extent. There is a lot of breadth to lose oneself in in science, in the minutae of astronomy for example, the intricate theories and structures of the quantumn world. In as sense it was doubt which brought me to Faith. Doubt that I could really ever know anything for sure. This seems to laughable to me now, knowing what I now know. The certainties that are more real than real to me now because of my Faith. Science was the closest thing to my religion back then. What this mode of thought leaves you with is a searching mind and a desire for truth. Primed for revelation. The more uncertainties there are, the greater the desire for certainty becomes. And she was there, Our Lady, insisting that I look. And when it happened, when the conversion came, it was like someone reaching out, grabbing hold of me. Another person, not an idea or theory, or belief. Converting wasn't something I 'did', it was 'done' to me. A real tangible person came into my life, throwing me the lifeline of the seed of Faith. And that seed of Faith set fire to my soul and my life changed forever. You cannot arrive here through reason, thought, human effort. It is an inexplicable mystery and because of our nature as created things, a mystery it must always remain. Revel in the Mystery. In the Real Presence of Our Lord on earth, in the tangible presence of the Blessed Virgin Mary in your life.

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